Like I cut off my arms

I can't find the steps
Leaning against walls for support
It's everything
It's not nothing
How could it be?
When you are-were?-
my future
my past
has a tendency to catch up with me
and now you're free
I feel like this is nothing to you
but you're not responding
are you happy?
Are you mad?
Are you drinking?
Do you feel like you've lost a limb too?
All I know is I can't feel my aorta,
because it's still with you.
Pinky promise.