Hey Judas here's a smile for you

I'm sure life is infinitely more fascinating then death, mainly for the sole reason one is alive, and can feel most things and can understand and experience things, but for people who think about death all the time, not necessarily wanting to kill themselves or anyone else, is it like dating a serial killer not knowing whether you're going to make it back to your apartment tonight or at all, who might just kill you because you're concentrating more on continuing to exist instead of whether or not the steak is good? Is it anything remotely like that?


There were probably be a lot of dates with death, a lot of exciting twists and turns, but most girls are not like me. I mean when things are seriously dangerous, like I could get hurt, I laugh. It's a nervous reaction to the thrill. I don't want to laugh. I don't want to show much emotions, but I do find the thrill, the flirt with danger fun. Which some would argue is stupid. "You would laugh while the car is about to crash?" Lol, no. I mean the person to person thrill of danger. Like him holding a gun, my mind instantly laughs at the possibility that the gun is unload or it jams and he ends up beating me to death, all because he left the safety lock on. Yeah I'm sick. I can't laugh at a car crash because there are a lot more factors that don't include choice. Slick road, distraction (like a baby), I can't laugh at someone's attention that was diverted to take care of his or her child. I admire that. It shows something. It makes me happy to see things like that. Maybe the world isn't and/or won't be as fucked up as people think it will and I love feeling like there's a slimmer of hope.


And to set the record straight. I like torture....not murder. I don't like killing people. Takes away all my fun. Severely injure. Sure. But kill...no....that's a no-no. I might kill a person if I get carried away, or they twitch too much... *shrugs* told them not to move.


If destiny is found in fortune quookies, well then, that's a shame.

Title Bleed the Dream- A smile for Judas