A refusal for love

"You must forgive me. Your...proposal had taken me almost entirely by surprise. But you had hinted at the favor I held with you, and your affection never strayed from me. You mustn't be upset with me, I understand love, you know. Your infatuation with me is only in what you think of me. You don't know me, dear. I'm not a nice person. In fact, I'm probably not a very loyal person. Ask anyone if you will. See, your tears are already starting to dry with the thought of that. If you do really love me, you'd interject, and point out my flaws and how you can accept me for me. But you haven't, so you don't, and your heart will heal against me. Don't fret little love, you'll find happiness soon."

The little gossamer faerie flitted off away from the minxet, who did not sigh with sorrow for the damage he'd done. Lucinda, the younger Williams twin, and Olivia, the mortal in the City, stepped out of the alley to stand beside him. Lucinda pulled out a cigarette wrapped in purple paper and lit it without a match. In one long drag, she sighed, electric green smoke framing her unreadable face.

"Now, why did you go do a thing like that?" She asked Carl, the half cat, half heartbreaker in the street. "She almost loved you and those are hard to come by in the City."

"She wasn't good enough for me. A twitty little pure bred gossie? With me? I deserve something exotic for it's what I am. A rival, someone to admire and be admired by. Equal in my grace and beauty."

Lucinda nodded, but Olivia stood aghast. "That's not love at all!"

Carl turned his fierce gaze on her. "But isn't it, child? There are different degrees of love and there are different ways of giving and receiving love. Mine is obsession, not mindless infatuation. Can you blame me for wanting someone I can cherish as they are perfect in my eyes or should I snatch up the first person who wanders by professing love? Don't speak to me of truth in romance when you have yet to find it yourself."

Olivia felt very small all of a sudden as if she were just barely big enough to not slip into the drain beneath the curb. Lucinda flicked her cigarette, spilling hot pink ash all over the wet pavement. "You're both wrong. But at least one of you knows you're wrong and can live with it."

-the carnival

On things like "Labyrinth"

This is conversation I would most likely have with a random person at my school. Let's call them... Meghan.

Meghan: Like O.M.G! You're song the labyrinth was soooo cool. I mean I sooo want a boyfriend to come take me out of my labyrinth. Because I'm like always overthinking shit and stuff.

Z: It's not about love. I wrote more with the idea of socializing in mind. A lot of people just sit around and wait to be included, but it's the same thing in every aspect of life, you have to be active about the life you want. And I'm pretty sure everyone overthinks things now. Which makes me feel less weird about myself. Yay!

Meg: But wasn't the labyrinth about loneliness and heartache?

Z: No. It was about pride and thinking, "Those people over there are like me, so I'll just not talk to them." The labyrinth is the wall between ourselves and everyone else. It's there because we think we need to be guarded against the world (or the world from us...either way, you know some people....). Lovers or friends, each moment is an opportunity to step a little out of our personal labyrinth and explore someone else's.

Meg: That sounds complicated and depressing.

Z: ...because it isn't simple like your poppy, main stream love songs?

(Which I don't hate by the way. I just prefer my music to like...make me feel something complex.)

Meg: Is all your stuff like this?

Z: Yep. And everyone thinks it's about me, being emotional and needing to be loved. Tsk tsk people out there. Tsk. TSK. I like things to be...dark and light I guess. Simple with a twisted variable to make it my own. I like my subjects of choice to be seemingly depressing/dark/simple/bright with something that balances out that borderline "um...wtf" potential.

So...yeah.

Labyrinth

Somebody who loves me come save me
Because life is sinking down here
Can't find my way out of the labyrinth
and I've forgotten how to feel fear.

Be my light, be my light
at the end of the tunnel
show me how to see dear
stop the darkness before takes all
and if I find a reason why
you can claim everything.
No poison, no antidote
it's an easier dream.

Somebody who loves me come save me
Because life is sinking down here
Can't find my way out of the labyrinth
and I've forgotten how to feel fear.

No doubt we'll find it,
half awake and half waking round sir
Waking up and still dreaming
crawling through the heat and the briar
And they say, you can't do a dame
any better than she
Because she's the only one
who could ever believe.

Labyrinth, labyrinth, closing in on me
silence darling and knock me free
hold my hand, guide me out
and you'll know what I let you doubt

Somebody who loves me come hear me
Because life is changing round here.
See my way out of the labyrinth
and I remember how to feel, dear.