Opening up, Looking in.

They all had dark eyes, every color of the rainbow. Lucinda's was violet, Julian's green, Gabriel's a wicked shade of blue, and the Youngest's was orange. They kept their eyes narrow, for if eyes are the window to the soul, shouldn't they be able to decide who comes in?

Lucinda, the original Youngest, sat far across the room from her. She was disturbed by the child's silent nature. People who kept quiet either knew more than they let on or knew nothing at all. She couldn't be trusted. And as Julian almost shared his twin sister's feelings toward the newcomer, he knew they should treat her kindly, and show her the ways of the City. But neither Gabriel or Lucinda would allow that, talking in their backwards ways to confuse the observant child.

"Have you ever wondered that maybe it's someone to blame for what happened to us?" Lucinda whispered. Gabriel scoffed.

"They had a chance to save us from ourselves, and look what they did. Turn their backs on us without a second glance. And yet of all the people in this godforsaken City, you keep going back. They don't want us."

This used to be a blow to Lucinda, a feeling as if being stabbed in the heart would blossom in her chest, but tonight there was no feeling. She had successfully nummbed herself to that pain. "No. There's something there. I need to know."

The child frowned. Reason. Curiosity. That's what drove Lucinda.

"But," Julian joined in, looking apologetic to the Youngest, "If you're asking that question, you already know the answer. You always do."

"I just want to proven wrong."

Gabriel's sarcastic amusement diminished into annnoyance. He shook his red dredlocks, "Maybe two months ago, you would've been wrong. But after what we did, and what they've done. There's no way you couldn't be wrong now..."

"What are you talking about?" A small voice came from the lips of the child nestled in the couch. Jack, their gaurdian, had dressed her in white, like a doll, which Lucinda found entirely too eerie for her. "Who are they? Why does Luci care about them? Why is Gabriel mad?"

Gabriel looked at Lucinda, "Don't answer. She's aiming for ann emotional opening. Did you catch the tone?"

Julian tried to defend her, but it lacked conviction. "Oh come Gabe. She's just a child."

"And so were we. We were the same age as she when we started. But people were dumber then, and had no idea what we wanted."

Regret. Sorrow. Confusion. This is what gripped them and they protected themselves by being distant. It was...pitiful.

"How cold." Lucinda stared directly into the child's eyes. "You think because we're distant, we're to be pitied. But we're not distant because we're hurt. Not entirely. We're distant to present a challenge. How far would you go to get in? How much do you really want to know?"

"Seems like you're asking a lot of people who don't know you, yet. Why not be open?"

Julian and Gabriel who had been day dreaming, immediately turned to Lucinda at the word "open". It was a part of Luci's problem, opening up. But she laughed. "Why don't you be open with us and see where the problem really lies?"

Manip. You. Later.

Some people would find to be a disgusting trait. It is in fact an art, in that it uses the mind alone to craft a masterpiece of illusion and conviction. It's like acting only on a far more psychological level than distracting someone from reality. I can't help it. I admire the manipulations other people perform, I have to. It took time and effort and real thought and if the results are horrific and painful, I'm only elated by them.

Does that make me an ugly person? No. The ends usually justify the means don't they? Won't they? And if at least one person is benefitted from the ruin of another does that stop it from being bad? Perhaps. See, manipulation is black and white, China and United States. It's the Frenchie bit of society, a bit questionable, a bit artistic, and a hell lot of fun. If it done properly.

So the goal of this summer, find the grey of manipulation and use it to get the one thing I want most. It's tangible before you go thinking it's some emotion a person cannot achieve in the solace of his mind. It's very tangible and the best part?

If I can pull it off, it will be my best work to date.

And, being me, I do have a lot of "best works".

Prepping.

I'm extremely nervous about my two month trip to Trinidad and now I've been informed my major way of communication, texting, will be cut off. I'm very attatched to my phone. I can't help it. It's the way I communicate with most of my friends. There's always facebook, twitter, myspace, bebo, but I've never been big on social networking through a computer. What will happen when I come back and everyone has changed? What if I change? I probably will, Trinidad does tend to have that effect on people. I hope I don't end up dreading every day in Trinidad, and it becomes more about business than pleasure. I desperately want someone to come with me, so there will always be that more personal communication, a consistent break from this alternate reality.

And it is an alternate reality. It's like going to a different planet. Which isnt' to say that this island is full of questionable content, but it does have different social customs than here in Dinky Dinkle Town. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like, that's how different it is.

On the upside, it'll be an adventure. And I get to go to fashion week the second I land. See, look, things are looking better already. Now if only I can find a small laptop to take with me that lets me watch youtube, and multitask like nobody's business.

Off to pack, and freak out more about my journey. Oh wait!

Since my phone will be on standby for the duration of my stay, I'll be using this more often to keep you all informed of my misadventures. The fastest way to contact me will be through email, facebook, or here via comments. Ugh...no phone. flippin' the muffin out.